Did you know…

1. I had a VERY troubled childhood.
2. For some reason I feel awkward around my maternal grandparents
3. I have deep dark secrets
4. I love my fiancee more than any other human being on this earth
5. I want short hair
6. I wish I could live in uptown alone and create art and clothe myself in consignment store clothing
7. I am insecure
8. I think Nicole is the most beautiful human being alive, and it breaks my heart that she doesn’t see it.
9. I desire to give everything I have, including my time, to everyone I love and those I don’t even know
10. Sometimes I give too much so that I cant even take care of myself
11. Every time I smoke I think of my uncle Tom and my uncle Bob
12. When I don’t follow through with a commitment…it eats me up inside.
13. I wish that someone would see that I am a genuinely kind and giving person.
14. I had a scare with cancer a year ago
15. I have the utmost respect for Becky, and am proud of the changes she has made in her life. I love you Becky.
16. My best memories of my mom are when she lived with Julie and we sat on her concrete floor in her room and listened to classical music and made crafts. I love you mom.
17. I would take my uncles place if I had the choice. His children need him, his wife needs him.
18. I desire to have true love like Carol and Bob, and Mom and Scott.
19. I am an emotional person.
20. I desire to say I love you more often. To those I say it, I TRULY mean it, to those I don’t…sometimes its hard for me…BUT I LOVE YOU JUST AS MUCH.
21. I want to live with a small African tribe. I want to experience having no money, I want to find why they have TRUE joy, and I want to learn about their culture.
22. I beat myself up because I think I am selfish.
23. Bri, I think you are the biggest sweetheart in the world, and I see you doing BIG things in life. I love you.
24. I wish I could give all my money, and all the money in the world to my mom and scott, they are such amazing people.
25. Taking the Lord’s name in vain truly PAINS me.
26. I want children…lots of them
27. Sometimes I get depressed because I give, give, give…and don’t take time for me. When I get to that point, I shut everyone else out, and I have hurt a LOT of people that way. If this applies to you…I am sorry with all my heart.
28. I miss GG SOOOOOOO much, and I want to visit her….but I never make the time.
29. I ALWAYS see the good in a person before the bad. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, but I see it as a blessing. I think God has blessed me with being understanding and compassionate. I think I have potential to do big things.
30. I can get along with ANYONE.
31. I look up to my grandmother. She is the most loving person that ever lived.
32. I forgave my father a LONG time ago
33. I like to read.
34. I love my siblings more than they will ever know. Jay, you are an amazing man. I appreciate all you do for me. I appreciate you being there when no one else was. I appreciate you loving me no matter what. You are my best friend. Andrew, you are the smartest little boy I have ever met. You are hilarious. You are such a lover, and some girl some day will be lucky to have you. Lauren, I am sorry for all the times I made you feel like I didn’t love you as much. I do, I just have a hard time communicating it. I think you are brilliant, and God has made you into such a beautiful young woman. Britta, you are such a spitfire. You have a zest for life like no other human being I have met. Don’t ever let go of that. You are beautiful and intelligent and you will do big things.
35. It breaks my heart when my father doesn’t approve.
36. There is nothing I’d rather do than scrapbook with you mom. You are an AMAZING artist and I look up to you.
37. Mom, did you know that when you asked my father for forgiveness…it made me cry. That is huge. I cannot express with words how much I look up to you. I love you so much.
38. I have never met a father who loves his child more than my stepfather. You are amazing Scott.
39. I wish I tried harder in high school
40. I NEVER judge a person based on looks…and I take pride in that.
41. I wish Nikki knew how amazing she was.
42. I wish I remembered my childhood.
43. I wish I took more pictures
44. Every time I watch gymnasts in the Olympics, I cry. I always wanted to go further than I did in gymnastics…I wanted to be an Olympian.
45. I miss my old home, and I miss my grandparents old home
46. I want to join a choir.
47. I hate war and I hate the army.
48. I CANT WAIT FOR LANCE TO COME HOME!
49. Some of the most important things I have learned in life:
1. Love yourself
2. Don’t take love lightly, but make sure you say it to those you love OFTEN
3. Never judge a man by his outward appearance. I have found that many who are aesthetically pleasing to the eye, are lacking in substance, and that those who are different are AMAZING.
4. Follow your dreams NOW…there may not be tomorrow.
5. Money isn’t everything.
6. Take your job serious. Work is pleasing to God. Whether it be McDonalds, or Wall Street, work to the best of your ability and you will go far.
7. Never be afraid or embarrassed to be you…if someone doesn’t like it than they aren’t worth your time.
8. NEVER hold a grudge, and ALWAYS forgive.
9. Be humble.
10. Don’t be negative about anything….someone somewhere has it worse…trust me.
11. If you’ve been through a lot of hard stuff…IT’S A BLESSING!!! I have been through hell and back in my life, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I have learned so much. Now I have an opportunity to help someone somewhere with the same issues.
12. Respect your elders, those in authority over you, your parents and EVERYONE for that matter.
13. Put yourself above everyone in the respects that you don’t need anyone else to be great, but at the same time put yourself below everyone meaning you are never better than anyone else.
14. GOD SHOULD BE THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD. WITHOUT HIM THERE IS NO MEANING TO LIFE OR DEATH.

I have so much running through my head. I cannot get it all out right now…There is so much more that I want you to know about me. To be continued…